Herein lies a list of the first thirty lessons to come to mind…Since I’m aiming to spend more time from the heart and less time analyzing and analyzing some more, here goes…Are there more than 30 things I’ve learned in a decade? Absolutely!! But even this snapshot leaves me feeling forever grateful. Each day has been a gift and I look forward to experiencing forty in all its glory. Thanks to every one of you who has been a part of these past ten years.💚
Dreams come true one step at a time.
1. Forgiveness rocks.
2. Letting go is a gift.
3. Perfection is an illusion.
4. What the world emphasizes is temporary.
5. Love wins. Always.
Many hands make light work. We’re better together.
6. Setting boundaries can be a challenge, but they’re necessary and healthy.
7. I have the ability to say no.
8. Each day is a gift.
9. There’s no time like the present.
10. When resentment starts to build, I need either to a) set better boundaries or b) let go of self-righteousness.
Cambodia has a piece of my heart as does this boy.🥰
11. Rest isn’t meant to be a choice.
12. Sabbath is a part of our intended rhythm for life.
13. Living with margin helps me love better.
14. Technology needs limits put on it.
15. Handwritten letters are the bomb.
16. Healthy baking makes me smile.
17. Veggies as the bulk of a meal produces great energy.
18. Working out is still one of my first loves.
Working out on the red rocks? Even better!
19. Jesus is my best friend.
20. The Holy Spirit is my comforter and guide.
21. God is good and He wants what is best for His children.
22. I love to share my testimony with the hope that it will encourage another.
Speaking about faith and freedom to women is my jam!
23. Speaking on topics I’ve gone through and grown through lights me up.
24. Walking alongside other women who are facing battles sets my soul on fire.
Women supporting women. I love to lead retreats.
25. I still get overwhelmed more often than I’d like.
26. Doubt has made its debut and I’m so over it.
27. The critical, 2nd guessing, wanting to make “the best” decision, always, will not be moving forward into my 40’s.
28. Human trafficking must stop. (And all the many perversions that lead up to an act as inhumane as this.)
29. I love being immersed in different cultures.
Camels are my friend, especially in the Jordanian desert.
30. “Shoulding” on oneself 💩 never leads to peace.
What lessons have you learned in your past ten years of life?
REAL TALK: After a 2:30am bedtime with the B Present Studio Utah Women’s Wellness Retreat coming to an abrupt halt, I knew today wouldn’t look like my typical Monday. I wouldn’t wake at 4am to go fire up a room full of women as we all start our day in sweat.😅 Nope. I would, rather, not set an alarm and let my body wake when it was ready. (A lesson in self-care that took me many years to learn.) Today would be laundry, unpacking, grocery list (make all of my own meals #thisisreallife), and back to the many work projects I had left behind.
And then “it” came and interrupted my carefully laid plans. Waves and waves of emotion. Overwhelming amounts of gratitude. A joy so deep I literally burst into tears repeatedly throughout the day. Praise. Worship.🙏 I couldn’t help but picture the heaven-on-earth these past five days have been. My mind went to a place of comparison; to that of a time not all that long ago where I was considering ending my own life.😞
How can this much change really be possible?!?
Change your beliefs, change your life.
I thought of the many MAJOR mistakes I’ve made in the past, and yet here I am experiencing such freedom, so much joy it’s almost hard to believe this is really my life – cue the sobbing.😭 You see, there was a time, also not long ago, I believed, “You deserve what you get. You make a mistake, you suffer the consequences.” While there are certainly consequences to our actions, yes, my belief was more in line with the idea of “punishment.” Often self-imposed. I had a hard time letting go. Forgiveness, for myself – forget it. Forgiveness, for others – maaaaybe, but don’t expect me to not bring it back up (or in the least remind you that I let you “off the hook.”) Forgiveness is something that took a loooong time for me to get a revelation of. So to look at my life now and see this once mistake-ridden, messed-up, stressed-out girl:
following my passion for fitness and positively impacting many, even beyond the walls of the studio – I see God’s grace.
my once terminal marriage now thriving – I see God’s redemptive power.
participating in a community so kind and loving you can’t help but smile – I see God’s tangible gifts and desire for His kids to be well-connected and cared for.
When asked by my husband and mom to share my favorite part of the trip, my answer was simple: THE PEOPLE. 100%. Yep. The scenery was amazing. The weather – to die for. Hiking, biking, fitness classes galore. Fresh, healthy food, at your fingertips. All of that was wonderful, yet it pales in comparison to the women I got to share the past 5 days with.
Community…Google dictionary defines it as such:
“A feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals.”
Community…something most would tell you they want to be a part of, yet fear often rears its ugly head. Fear – the kind that whispers, “You don’t belong here.” “You’ll never really fit in.” “They’re just being nice because they have to, not because they really like you.” “You’re not ______ enough.” (Fill in with word of choice. A few favorites tend to be: thin, funny, wealthy, worthy, nice.) Oh, how I love to help women get beyond these lies. I love to help people feel SEEN and WELCOMED and HEARD.
Wouldn’t it be interesting then, after this outpouring of love and joy and celebration… FEAR would start to rear it’s ugly head in my mind…DOUBT would start creeping in like my fingers on the frosting of darn near any cake:
Why can’t you be more like _____?
You’re not as nice as _______?
People ‘put up with being around you,’ but they really enjoy hanging out with ______.
You’re really not fit to lead retreats. Or a business. Or fitness classes for that matter. No one really likes you. If they once did, they don’t anymore.
Ok, hold the phone. After years of learning to hear the voice of God and discern how He speaks to me versus anybody else, I KNEW that these words were not from Him. These fears…these doubts…they were rooted in me letting my thoughts go towards comparison of myself to others. What began as a beautiful comparison of the me from 12 years ago to me today…the ways God’s love and mercy had changed me, learning to accept His grace, to receive and extend forgiveness, to allow myself to experience joy at such a deep level without feeling like I don’t deserve it because of my past…that kind of comparison was life-giving. Reflection and looking in the rear-view mirror can be a powerful motivator of where you’ve been and remind you where you want to go. But comparing ourselves to others? Counting the ways that person is “better than” you? Focusing in on something you currently dislike about yourself and lusting over being like somebody else? All of these lead to death.
I took these potentially damaging thoughts to the Lord and was met with the following Truth:
“A body isn’t just a single part blown up into something huge. It’s all the different-but-similar parts arranged and functioning together. If Foot said, “I’m not elegant like Hand, embellished with rings; I guess I don’t belong to this body,” would that make it so? If Ear said, “I’m not beautiful like Eye, limpid and expressive; I don’t deserve a place on the head,” would you want to remove it from the body? If the body was all eye, how could it hear? If all ear, how could it smell? As it is, we see that God has carefully placed each part of the body right where he wanted it.
But I also want you to think about how this keeps your significance from getting blown up into self-importance. For no matter how significant you are, it is only because of what you are a part of. An enormous eye or a gigantic hand wouldn’t be a body, but a monster. What we have is one body with many parts, each its proper size and in its proper place. No part is important on its own. Can you imagine Eye telling Hand, “Get lost; I don’t need you”? Or, Head telling Foot, “You’re fired; your job has been phased out”? As a matter of fact, in practice it works the other way—the “lower” the part, the more basic, and therefore necessary. You can live without an eye, for instance, but not without a stomach. When it’s a part of your own body you are concerned with, it makes no difference whether the part is visible or clothed, higher or lower. You give it dignity and honor just as it is, without comparisons. If anything, you have more concern for the lower parts than the higher. If you had to choose, wouldn’t you prefer good digestion to full-bodied hair?
The way God designed our bodies is a model for understanding our lives together as a church: every part dependent on every other part, the parts we mention and the parts we don’t, the parts we see and the parts we don’t. If one part hurts, every other part is involved in the hurt, and in the healing. If one part flourishes, every other part enters into the exuberance.
You are Christ’s body—that’s who you are! You must never forget this. Only as you accept your part of that body does your “part” mean anything. I Corinthians 12:12-31 MSG
Talk about a truth-bomb! Thank you, Holy Spirit, for speaking straight to my heart exactly what it needed to combat the lies I was starting to meditate on.
Am I as funny as some of the women who were on the retreat? Not in the same way they are.
Am I as emotionally available? Nope. I often need a head’s up in order to be available, but I also know the Lord is growing me in this area.
Does it help to compare my weaknesses to everyone else’s strengths? No, no, and more no.
Does comparison bring me closer to others or does it lead me to push others away? I think you know the answer to this. A phenomena that explains why Netflix and the like are so widely popular – I can “hang with Netflix” and not have to worry about being rejected.
Thus, I’ve decided – instead of letting fear and doubt rain on my joy parade – I am choosing to step into the truth. I will believe that the words in 1 Corinthians are for me.
WE EACH PLAY A PART. YOUR PART IS NOT BETTER THAN MINE, NOR IS IS MINE BETTER THAN YOURS. WE NEED ONE ANOTHER. WE’RE BETTER TOGETHER.
tammyweisweaver 